Justin Bieber will not be deported

Sorry, America — we’ll have to deal with Justin Bieber a bit longer.

The White House on Friday finally officially responded to a petition signed by more than 273,000 people to have Bieber deported to Canada after a string of boozy antics and arrests.

“Sorry to disappoint, but we won’t be commenting on this one,” read a statement on petitions.whitehouse.gov. “We’ll leave it to others to comment on Mr. Bieber’s case, but we’re glad you care about immigration issues.”

The White House argued immigration reform will shrink our deficits by almost $1 trillion in the next 20 years.

Handily, it added, “For those of you counting at home, that’s 12.5 billion concert tickets — or 100 billion copies of Mr. Bieber’s debut album.”