Harry Macklowe thinks marriage is a big joke

He’s got a million of ’em!

Real estate developer and wannabe comedian Harry Macklowe hasn’t lost his sense of humor despite his messy mega-divorce case.

Here are just three of the jokes the billionaire cracked at court:

A kleptomaniac goes before a judge for stealing a can of fruit. When the judge asks how many peaches are in the can, she says, “Six.”

So the judge sentences the thief to six nights in jail.

Then, all of a sudden, her husband stands up and says, “Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas!”

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I  once came across a strange funeral procession with two hearses, followed by a man dressed in black walking a dog. Behind him was a single-file line of 200 men.

I asked the mourner, “What’s going on?”

He said, “Well, my mother-in-law is in the first hearse and my wife is in the second one.”

And what’s with the dog, I pressed.

“Well my wife yelled at me, so my dog attacked and killed her. When her mother stepped in, the dog turned on her, too.”

So I asked the man if I could borrow his dog.

“Get in line,” he said.

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A woman is relaxing at the Fontainebleau Hotel pool when she notices an attractive man in his 50s. She approaches and says, “I’ve never seen you here before.”

He responds that he’s just been released from prison.

“What did you do,” she asks.

“Well,” he confesses, “I drowned my dog, I killed my wife and then I set fire to our home where our children were sleeping.”

“So,” she says, “You’re not married?”