Rolling Stones’ new perfume whiffs of exploitation
Just can’t get no olfaction? You can now!
The Rolling Stones have “proudly announced the launch of their first-ever fine fragrance.”
The band — who have either always dreamed of having their own perfume and for some reason waited until they were 80 to give it a bash or (almost equally unlikely) would like some more money — say RS No. 9 is “a scent that evokes London’s Soho in 1962: a throbbing metropolis bustling with excitement as a new cultural era emerged; a time of discovery and freedom, when anything could – and did – happen.”
We’re prepared to believe that Soho smelled like a throbbing something in 1962, but we’re not sold on any of the rest of it, so we checked with nose-witnesses. Sensorial sources say the reliably filthy Central London neighborhood actually teased the nostril with a “lingering smell of soot, frying and pee.” Said another, “I don’t recall picking up on the patchouli.”
Undeterred, the press release promises, “Bourbon-infused notes of velvet [that] swagger onto centre stage, as warm leather brawls under electric musk while sultry oud seductively lingers.”
It adds that, “Deep, earthy Oak adds a mysterious, intimate layer that echoes The Rolling Stones’ ability to captivate audiences.” Right-O, guv’nor!
Alas, poor Charlie, who didn’t live to see “the perfect fragrance for those who dare to be different” on shelves at $99.99 for a 100ml bottle just in time for Christmas.
Well, if you try sometime you might find you can get what you neither want nor need.
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